To my son on your 11th birthday

Dear Colin on your 11th birthday,

As I snuggle next to you as you go to sleep on the eve of your 11th birthday, I think about the moment you were born. I pulled you to my chest and every bit of pain faded and wonder filled my heart.

As I snuggle next to you, I remember how I couldn't sleep at all that night. Not one wink of sleep. It was just after midnight and I stared at you in that lucite bassinet. Thought how it didn't feel right to not have you by my side. So I took you out and laid you down next to me on the bed in the birth center hoping the nurse wouldn't make me put you back. I wondered when you would wake up so I could feed you and look into those dark little eyes.

As I snuggle next to you, I know the day will come very soon where you will not ask me to lay next to you as you go to sleep.
I've told you that it is okay with me, then you say "mom, will you lay next to me?"

As I snuggle next to you, I think of the big hearted young man you are growing up to be and I wonder what I can say to ease the transition into young adulthood.

As I snuggle next to you, I know that the only thing I can say is be true to YOU and hope that I will have done a good enough job to have given you the tools to ease your way.

As I snuggle next to you, tears fill my eyes. Not because I am sad but because I love you so much. More than you will ever know, then again, you do know. I know you feel it with every hug and every "no!"

As I snuggle next to you, I am so proud to call you my son. I love you to the moon and back. Shoot, to infinity and beyond because there is no way to measure the love a mother feels for her children, her first born.

It is a little after midnight on the eve of your 11th birthday and all I want to do is snuggle next to you and hold you tight. But I know the day is coming when I will have to let you go. That is all right with me because when that day comes, I know you have those tools and are on your way to be the great man you are meant to be.

Happy birthday baby.



Jeff Bozanic said…
So sweet... so true....

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