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To my son on your 11th birthday

Dear Colin on your 11th birthday,

As I snuggle next to you as you go to sleep on the eve of your 11th birthday, I think about the moment you were born. I pulled you to my chest and every bit of pain faded and wonder filled my heart.



As I snuggle next to you, I remember how I couldn't sleep at all that night. Not one wink of sleep. It was just after midnight and I stared at you in that lucite bassinet. Thought how it didn't feel right to not have you by my side. So I took you out and laid you down next to me on the bed in the birth center hoping the nurse wouldn't make me put you back. I wondered when you would wake up so I could feed you and look into those dark little eyes.

As I snuggle next to you, I know the day will come very soon where you will not ask me to lay next to you as you go to sleep.
I've told you that it is okay with me, then you say "mom, will you lay next to me?"

As I snuggle next to you, I think of the big hearted young man you are growing up to…